


If you love someone

by Buggirl



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Heart-to-Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 18:55:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11446992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buggirl/pseuds/Buggirl
Summary: When Aeryn Shepard discovers information about Garrus' ill mother, she urges him to visit his family back on Palaven. On his return, they have a heart to heart about their future together and what Aeryn thinks Garrus must do in order to move forward.





	If you love someone

**Author's Note:**

> I found a very old one shot of Garrus and Aeryn Shepard that I wrote ages ago, I tidied it up a wee bit and posted it here. It occurs post Shadowbroker and pre the events of Mass Effect 3.

Aeryn Shepard sat in her quarters, wanting to run to the Normandy’s entrance, grab him by his bony shoulders and smother him with kisses. It had been over six weeks since Garrus had left to visit his sick and dying mother, and she had wanted to give him space. Let him come to her when he was ready.

She didn’t have to wait long.

Aeryn remained seated as he entered but gave him a wide smile.

He sauntered down the stairs as only he knew how. Her smile grew wider- to the point that she felt a twinge of pain in her cheeks. He leaned down to her, their foreheads touched and he released a long, slow sigh.

“I’m so glad to be back.”

Her hand went to his face and stroked his mandible. “That bad, huh?”

He didn’t reply, instead he separated from her touch and walked to the side table and poured himself a drink. “Want one?” he asked without looking back to her.

“No thanks. I know it’s been a hard road Garrus, come, sit, tell me what was it like? To be home, to see your family.” The leather creaked as she patted the space beside her.

Garrus took a gulp of his drink then topped it up before joining her on the couch. Shepard shuffled closer to him. 

“It was, yes, hard, for want of a better word, Shepard.” He shifted uncomfortably to one side. “Solana was angry.”

Aeryn’s brow rose. “’Shepard’, must have been, if you’ve reverted to calling me Shepard.”

His mandibles flared. “Sorry, Aeryn, but it wasn’t easy.”

“Understandable, Garrus. You’ve been hiding from them for years.” She leant forward, placed a comforting hand on his arm.

“I’ve always been contactable, what do you mean?” he replied, taking a defensive posture and sliding his arm away.

Shepard winced then rubbed her brow. “Look I’m not meaning to sound insensitive, but really, if I hadn’t pushed you, would you have gone?”

“Eventually.”

Aeryn sighed. “Eventually is not good enough. Eventually could have meant never seeing your mother alive again. Eventually could have meant Solana not only being angry, but also resentful.”

Garrus snorted. “Resentful? I think we’re past that point, Aeryn.”

The conversation paused for a moment. Garrus folded his hands in front of him and stared intensely at his talons, not wanting to look his Commander in the eye. However, Aeryn’s focus was all on Garrus.

A few more moments passed before he continued, “It was hard, Aeryn, but it was also good. It was a relief to see them both, to unburden myself on them.” 

“Families are good for that,” she said forlornly, her thoughts drifting to her own absent mother.

“Although-”

Aeryn’s head tilted to one side, “Although?”

“Shepard, Aeryn, I can’t seem to do anything without your guidance, because when I do, If I unleash that stupid sense of justice I have, people die.”

“Oh,” she responded. “I didn’t mean to push-"

Garrus faced towards her and grabbed her hands firmly in his own “Answer me honestly, Aeryn, as my Commander. Do you think I can do anything on my own? Competently?”

Aeryn bit her lip. “Garrus, honestly?”

“Yes, honestly.” He gazed into her eyes and tilted his head questioningly.

She nodded. “Yes, I think you can. But-”

His face a fell a little with her utterance of the last word.

“But, you can’t let me guide you. You can’t let anyone guide you but yourself, not me, not your father.”

A surprised look crossed Garrus’ face at the mention of his father.

“You know what I mean, Garrus. You are trying to live up to some expectation that doesn’t exist, a ghostly one.”

“I don’t follow. What do you mean ghostly? My father isn’t dead.”

Aeryn gave him a soft smile and sighed. “The ghost of your father’s expectations is what I mean. That is what is still haunting you, the expectation of being that good turian. You said it yourself. You were never a very good turian.” She broke one hand away from his grasp and poked a finger into his chest. “What’s in there is at heart the essence of who you are. That has never changed, and it never will. Whether you like it or not something is at odds.”

“Aeryn, are you telling me I think with my heart and not my head?”

A huge smile returned to Aeryn’s face. “Yes, well, sort of. Your heart is so goddamn big it’s choking off some of the blood supply to the brain.”

He chortled. “I thought that was choking some other part of me.”

Aeryn bit her lip again this time to repress a laugh, but she resisted the joke. “I’m being serious.” She pushed him jokingly away.

“Okay then, _Commander_.”

“I think- I think you need to think a little less- impulsivity. You can’t act out every thought that immediately comes into your head without giving it a little space to breath.”

Garrus tilted his head again. “Now you’re saying I’m illogical in my decision making?”

“No, I’m saying you’re hasty. You don’t give your thoughts time before acting. The word I’ve heard is ‘hot-headed’ and it seems to only have gotten more so since I first met you.”

Garrus stroked his mandible and nodded. “I can’t necessarily disagree with that.”

“Also-” this time Aeryn grasped his hands. “I think I’m another one of those ghosts.”

His eyes narrowed, “You’re not dead either.” He stopped and let out a low huff of a laugh. “Well, not anymore, Aeryn.”

She took a deep breath, knowing what it was like for him when she wasn’t around. He had poured his heart out to her and she had retained a measure of guilt about his reliance on her after she was gone. “I think you need to leave, and not let me haunt you, that’s what I mean. Not let my views influence you.”

Garrus moved back his head tilting upwards and his mandibles twitching. “It's too late for that. And that would mean, do you want me to leave? Whilst the Reapers are still a threat?”

Aeryn swallowed hard. “No, I don’t.”

Garrus smiled and traced a talon gently down the side of her face. 

Aeryn attempted to prevent the tears from threatening to fall, but a few escaped before she could stop them. “What I want doesn’t matter, not about this. But I won’t tell you to go, that’s your decision.”

“I think I understand, Aeryn. I know what you mean. But I don't need to go away, to be on another ship, another planet or another system. You and I are tied together, that tether is stronger than titanium.” He kissed her wet cheeks before their foreheads touched again. "I'm not going anywhere." 

They remained this way for some time. Their hands clasped and unclasped, talons and fingers intertwining before moving into an embrace. Aeryn’s cheek rested on his torso and her hand wandered up and down his arm in methodical strokes. 

“I can hear your heart, Garrus,” she whispered.

She closed her eyes. It was a beautiful sound.


End file.
